Having 'The Money Talk' with Your Adult Children

One of the most uncomfortable conversations families avoid is the one about money, inheritance, and what happens when you're gone. But avoiding it doesn't make it go away—it just makes everything harder when the time comes.

Here's the reality: only 40% of younger adults have ever discussed estate planning with anyone. That means the majority of the next generation will be completely unprepared when they inherit assets, take over financial decisions, or need to execute an estate plan.

The good news? You can change that for your family. And it's easier than you think.

Why This Conversation Matters

When families don't talk about money, inheritance becomes a crisis instead of a transition. Adult children are suddenly thrust into managing assets they don't understand, making decisions about accounts they've never seen, and trying to honor wishes they were never told about.

But when families do have these conversations—calmly, clearly, and early—your children understand your values and intentions. They know what to expect. And when the time comes, they're prepared instead of overwhelmed.

What to Talk About

You don't need to disclose every detail of your finances. The goal isn't to share your net worth statement—it's to prepare your children for their eventual responsibilities.

Topics worth covering:

Where things are. Do your children know where to find important documents? Who your financial advisor is? What accounts exist? If something happened tomorrow, would they know who to call?

Your intentions. Why did you structure things the way you did? Explaining your reasoning now prevents hurt feelings and assumptions later.

Your values around money. What do you want this wealth to accomplish? How do you hope they'll handle it?

Healthcare and end-of-life wishes. Who makes decisions if you can't? What are your wishes?

Who your trusted advisors are. Your financial advisor, attorney, CPA—your children should know who these people are before they urgently need them.

Why Introducing Your Children to Your Financial Advisor Changes Everything

Your financial advisor knows things about your finances that your children don't. They understand your portfolio, your strategy, your estate plan, and your intentions.

When you introduce your adult children to your financial advisor while you're healthy and engaged, you create continuity that makes the eventual transition dramatically smoother.

This isn't about handing over control. You're still in charge. But bringing your children into conversations with your advisor accomplishes several important things:

Your children learn how you think about risk and planning. They see the "why" behind your financial strategy.

Your advisor learns what your children know and don't know, so they can fill gaps before they become urgent problems.

Everyone's on the same page. When the time comes, there's no learning curve—the relationship already exists.

It signals trust and prepares them for responsibility.

What This Looks Like in Practice

Start with a single meeting. Introduce your adult children to your financial advisor with a simple agenda: "I wanted you to meet [Advisor's Name] so you know who manages our family's finances and who to contact if anything happens to me."

Your advisor can walk through the basics: what accounts exist, how things are structured, what the estate plan looks like at a high level, and what steps would need to happen in different scenarios.

From there, you can decide whether annual check-ins make sense or if that one meeting is enough. There's no single right answer—it depends on your family's dynamics and comfort level.

Common Concerns

"I don't want my kids to know how much money we have." You don't have to share exact numbers. Focus on structure and who to contact.

"My kids will fight." They're more likely to fight if they're surprised by your decisions after you're gone. Transparency now reduces conflict later.

"It's morbid to talk about this." It's practical. This is just part of being responsible.

"My kids are too young or irresponsible." If they're adults, they're old enough. If you're worried about their judgment, that's exactly why you should introduce them to your advisor now—so they have professional guidance.

"We can do this later." Later has a way of becoming too late. These conversations work best when there's no urgency and no pressure.

Making It Easier

If you're not sure how to start, your financial advisor can help. A simple approach: "I've been thinking about making sure you're prepared if something happens to me. I'd like you to meet my financial advisor so you know who to contact."

That's it. Most adult children appreciate being included, even if it feels awkward at first. It shows you trust them and you're thinking ahead.

Moving Forward

This isn't just about transferring wealth—it's about transferring knowledge, values, and relationships.

When your children know your financial advisor, understand your intentions, and have a general sense of how things are structured, inheritance becomes a smooth transition instead of a scramble.

If you've been putting off this conversation, now is the time. Your children will thank you for it.